By Hidariniart

The wrongs in the world are being called out. People are fighting against discrimination, harassment, inequalities, abuse, climate change. The current economic, sociological and ecological models are not working anymore — we have known it for years and are raising our voices.

Why then? Why are they changing so slowly, if at all?

There are so many battles to fight, we are dispersed, losing energy and synergy. In each of them, there are several layers to uncover as we go past our privileged biases. We are fighting for equal pay for women in the corporate world — what about the…


By Hidariniart

I have a blessing, and a curse. My mind works well and fast — in common terms, I guess I would be qualified as intelligent. Growing up in a traditional Persian culture, it was obvious that my wits would be used to pursue academic and corporate excellence, regardless of my interest for the arts. Back when I was growing up, in the eighties and nineties, ecological, economic and sociological issues were not mainstream either. The world was not yet to be saved — at least not that I knew of. …


Today I turn forty. I have been dreading this moment for a few months now. It is silly, really, when you think about it. It’s not like it was a surprise; I knew this day would come — if I was lucky enough to live until now. And here we are.

I have so many, many things to be grateful for; I count my blessings every morning. It’s just… forty. You know, F O R T Y. I am too small to turn forty. I feel too young to turn forty. But maybe that’s the trick, the secret no one…


Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash

The silence is like music to my ears. For months I have been longing to be alone at home. No background noise, no one who needs me, no one to handle. Now, my wish has been granted. I find a little space in time, a little peace of mind, a little piece of mine.

It is only a small window, but wide enough for me to go through it.

And be.

I have been taught to deal with external stimulations, to seek them out, to boast about being able to handle many at a time. …


Les mariés by Alohafred.com

Your touch feels like light

Pushing through

This dark place I’m in

A response to this challenge:


by Aholafred.com

Only when you’re gone

I see you

Forgive my blindness


Photo by Hidariniart on Unsplash

I lay awake at night, jet-lagged and annoyed at the party going on a couple of streets away. The music and the screams are so loud, they might as well come and have their feast right here next to our bed.

I lay awake and I think. It’s good to think without rush.

I lay on the pool side, watching the clouds go by. Cloudy sky doesn’t lie. It gives it straight to you. The dichotomy of life, the learning curve.

When I was younger, I would daydream very often — about what would come next, how I would feel…


by Hidarinia

This picture was taken 2 years ago in Bali. The smile was only fleeting, a quick laugh to strike a pose. Behind it, I was hiding so much tension and fear, so much resentment. For what, for whom? Probably myself. I had just started a year of travel with my family and I could not get out of my head to enjoy the free time I had worked so hard to set up. I had also taken on too much, designating myself to craft every last detail of every single thing for myself, my husband and our then 2-year old…


by Hidarinia

I have been away from here for a while. It was part of a detox process from over achieving to do lists, from the digital world and especially from social media. This constant feeling of being overdue, too much distraction, unthreaded reads, not enough focus on real life, nor on the actual writing. The mind clutter resulting from it was making me fidgety and anxious, like an addict always on the lookout for her next shot. I needed to clear up headspace to exist again.

Not surprisingly, concentrating on the essential and being further away from social media has made…


by Hidarinia

Sensations, emotions, coming and going. I feel this now but tomorrow might be different — will be different. The fear and anxiety dissipate through the night and the morning brings hope and faith. Which one is real? Which one should I listen to?

Fear is ever present. Through the laughs, the plans, the excitement, it is right there, whispering in my ear — what if the worse happens? Of course it might, but it also might not. I believe in energies, I believe that what you visualise does materialise. Not in a genie-grant-me-my-wish kind of way — obviously. …

Ronaki

Mama, wife, yogi, dreamer. Writer in disguise.

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