We have been out of the sun for a few days. Gone is the feeling of warmth on our skin, of lightness in our steps. Back in the city, in the cold. But in the warmth of family — and the drama that goes invariably with it. We are not even physically with them yet, but somehow they — and we — feel we are closer because we are back in the civilisation.
To be fair, I contribute myself to that drama. I feel like I need to be charge — I am the one who puts myself on the spot. If I didn’t do it, things would still work out — and I would keep my peace of mind. I have to learn. I cannot change others, I can only work on myself.
I remember now why we started travelling. To alleviate the weight — of corporate life, of the busy city, of the everyday race. But it is too easy to just escape from everything. The real victory lies in not giving in, even when living in the middle of the chaos. Have we learnt?
Regardless, why would we force ourselves to be always in fighting mode. Why could we not choose the peaceful path, to relocate where we feel serene? We could. I could. But the guilt — oh, the guilt — makes this the harder solution. There are some people I cannot bear to hurt by doing this. Yet, I am hurting others by refusing to do it — including myself.
We could close the curtains
Pretend like there’s no world outside
We could pretend it all the time
And can’t you see that it’s just rainin’
There ain’t no need to go outside
Maybe we’ll just make Banana Pancakes with Jack Johnson for now — decisions can wait a little while…
Ain’t no need ain’t no need
Mmm, mmm, mmm
Can’t you see can’t you see
Rain all day and I don’t mind
