The silence is like music to my ears. For months I have been longing to be alone at home. No background noise, no one who needs me, no one to handle. Now, my wish has been granted. I find a little space in time, a little peace of mind, a little piece of mine.
It is only a small window, but wide enough for me to go through it.
And be.
I have been taught to deal with external stimulations, to seek them out, to boast about being able to handle many at a time. Small bits of aggression that poke at my sanity.
I understand, now. I understand that my crazy is not a reflection of me alone — but of my living in an insane world. Denial is a powerful self-protection mechanism. Accepting this world as normal makes me feel less out of place — but so much out of me. Stepping outside this uncomfortable comfort zone, I find me, and lose them. Is it so bad, to lose them?
Remember, I find me. This is what I need. Me. Now.
