I can’t stop thinking about food. I get out of bed in the morning looking forward to breakfast. I haven’t even started it that I am already thinking about lunch, dinner, and all the bites in between — for that day and the following ones. I go to bed at night dreaming about breakfast the next day. And repeat.
No, I am not pregnant. I just crave for something. Constantly. I don’t know if it is because I am actually hungry, or because I am missing something — but what? The rest of the story?
It reminds me of the time I was in university. The symptoms were identical during every intense study period preceding exams: I was obsessed with food. Could it be the same here, am I hungry because I am learning? Putting it on paper makes it seem so obvious…
This right now, this period of creation, learning and openness — this is where I was supposed to get to. To the outside world, it may seem I have escaped reality to live the beachlife for a while, but inside, never have things been so intense. This time, it is not about a job, friends, love or family. It is about me, about who I am and what I am capable of. The rough start, the doubts, the worries, the fights, the cries, the laughs — this is where they were taking me. I had to deconstruct before I could start building again.
I know this is only the beginning. I know the hard days are still ahead. But I will remember to look for the silver lining when things get shaky. It is always hiding right there before my eyes, I just need to focus to see it.
Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.~ Rumi
This is my story, I get to write the next chapters. And I have always been one for happy endings.
